I’m not meself!

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters, cp

Sunday, 31st March 2019

You know today’s gospel story very well, almost by heart!  Books have been written about it. Whole courses have been given on the wisdom contained in every sentence of it.  But we haven’t space here for a book – so I will just focus briefly on one word that Jesus uses in his story today.

You know how we say, “I’m not myself! meaning ‘I’m below par!’, ‘I’m under the weather!’, or “I’m not feeling great”. After my father died, my mother used say, very sadly, “I’m living with meself!” as if there were two of them – me and meself!  And there are many versions of me, (and you) aren’t there? Depending on energy levels, state of health and even the weather!  So, isn’t it really gracious of Jesus to suggest that the younger son was ‘not himself’, his real self or his best self when he was thinking only of himself, what was his and how he could get it and spend it and enjoy it – only on himself! He had ‘to come to himself’, come to his senses, come to his true self.  And then he did the right thing! He sought reconciliation with his father.

How could Jesus tell a story like this? How could Jesus have such compassion for an apparently selfish young man who ‘came to himself’ only when he was completely at rock bottom? Is it not because Jesus too had experienced in his own life something of what this young man is going through? It’s a compassion not coming from on high but coming from a real fellow feeling.  This may be hard to understand but let me give you an example that’s very real to me. When at times I feel without energy and definitely down a few notches, that ‘down’ helps me see and understand people in darkness and depression. I’m full of compassion for them and for myself and for the whole human condition and especially for people who are in the depths like this all the time.   In the same way, Jesus’ compassion was not coming from on high. No, it was real fellow feeling because he had experienced similar things himself! St. Paul (in second reading) says that it was for our sake God made Jesus into sin. What does that mean? It’s hard to explain. It means he experienced what sin does to you even though he didn’t sin. What does sin do to you? Sin separates you from God, from other people (like the son from his father) and from your true self. Jesus experienced what it’s like to feel separated from God, abandoned by God, betrayed by God. There’s no darker place than that for one who loves God. And it was “For our sake”. What does that mean? It means that, in Jesus, God came that close to us – and all to convince us that we are loved and understood.  

 Only one who knows the desert can lead us out of the desert!