Growing old gracefully

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters, cp

Sunday, 23rd September 2018

One First Friday, many years ago, I was tramping round visiting the sick. It was a bitterly cold morning. Then, to make things worse, it began to rain, and I began to feel very sorry for myself. Then I had a vision! I saw Josephine McCarthy, aged 98, cheerfully pushing her little trolley through the wind and the rain – going shopping! She had retired from teaching at least 35 years earlier but she hadn’t retired from life.  For me that morning, it was as if the sun suddenly appeared from behind the clouds.

Many older people enjoy various new vocations but the one they share is that of giving courage to those still on the way. Each old person can be a model for those who may be dreading old age. One of our old priests famously said, “Old age is not all it’s cracked up to be.” Especially when every year seems to steal something from you – a dear friend, your teeth or your driving licence!  It’s essential to remember that time steals from everyone and is not just picking on you!

To grow old with dignity demands discipline. You see it in the faces of those who do. It comes not from one big dramatic decision but from dozens of right decisions made each day: the decision to sit up instead of slouching; the decision not to have ‘just one more’ drink; the decision to stop eating before feeling stuffed! And decisions of the spirit – keeping involved and interested in everything; avoiding self – pity and bitterness.

The voices and faces of some old people give them away. They didn’t develop these overnight. All their lives they’ve been feeling sorry for themselves and blaming others for their plight. In old age they are the same – only worse!

You may find your delayed vocation gives you more joy than the one by which you made your living. And without a new vocation you may find yourself surviving instead of living. Earlier you may have dreamt of retirement as an endless Indian summer but the reality bores you silly!

When you meet people, who are at peace with their lives, like Josephine, who died some years ago aged 104, they seem to spread a light around them whereas the disgruntled ones cast a shadow across the day. It’s not exactly a joke – the story about the doctor saying of his patient:

                                        “She died of a retired husband!”