Spiritual pain

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters, cp

Sunday, 26th May 2019

Medical science has come a long way in helping to control bodily pain. But there is a deeper, more intimate pain that is not easy to deal with. Words are helpful to describe bodily pain but spiritual or soul pain is not so easy to describe. Each of us has so much in us that transcends us. The mighty ship that sails the ocean seems to move serenely but only because of that part which is under the surface. It is in that hidden place that the power to move lies. With us, it’s similar. It is in our hidden selves, in our soul, that we tick, and it is there that we really hurt. And that part of us is as much a mystery to us as it is to those with whom we live and work. Because of that, speaking to someone in soul pain is scary, sensitive, unknown territory. There are no clear directions. There are no easy answers, no ready – made remedies and above all, no right of admission to that inner, sacred place unless invited there.

The only response must be one of reverent silence and total attentiveness. It must be a listening with the heart, with deep love, respect and above all, compassion. So often, we listen with the head – judgemental, critical and analytical. Or we listen to try to understand the other person, but even that can get in the way. And it is so easy for us to project on the other person something of our own experience. We need to be patient and allow them to be themselves. We need to realise that the pain is probably not limited to the present but also reaches back to past years.

So, all we can do is to listen with a heart full of compassion – to attempt, with the other’s permission, to walk the road of pain with them, listening to what is being said and to what cannot be said. Being with people in spiritual pain, we often feel helpless and, of course, don’t like feeling like that. We want to help; we may even expect ourselves to find a solution. But what we need to learn, slowly and painfully, is that we can’t fix people like we fix cars! People are far more complex, layers of flesh and spirit and all shrouded in mystery.

People are longing to be listened to, longing to be taken seriously, longing to be accepted just as they are. They are not looking for cheap advice; they do not expect us to solve their problems; they just want to be listened to; they want to be heard and in that reverent listening, a loosening of fixed attitudes can occur. And in that, God’s spirit can get through to relieve the pain and bring what Jesus calls ‘rest for our souls’.