To be taken seriously

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters, cp

Sunday, 19th May 2019

I was giving a mission in St.Eugene’s Cathedral in Derry sometime during the troubles, and after the night session, the local priests encouraged the people to go home quietly and to ignore the soldiers.  At the back of the Cathedral as people were leaving, I heard one woman say to another, “Don’t even bother to ignore them!” As if to ignore them was giving them far too much attention! So, it’s a very good sign when we interact with people and feel free to agree or disagree with them.  It means we take them seriously!

And after we are fed, clothed and sheltered, to be taken seriously is probably our most basic human need. You’d wonder why naggers keep on nagging when it never seems to work. But it’s probably a desperate cry from the heart to be heard and to be taken seriously. People looking for jobs are so often frustrated for the same reason. One man put it very well when he said, “The worst part in applying for jobs is getting no reply, as though I don’t exist!”  That describes the feeling! And I always find it hard to read aloud in church that Jesus fed five thousand men, “not counting women and children”! The ‘not counting’ has been going on for a very long time! Women and children had to scream to be heard. And many feel women are still not being heard or taken seriously in the church.

When we are not taken seriously, there’s a great danger we will be driven to taking ourselves too seriously. If other people don’t take me seriously, I’ll have to do the job for myself! From there, it’s a very small step to self – importance and constant bragging that drives away the very people you hoped might believe in you and take you seriously. It took me a long time to see that the people who seem ‘full of themselves’ and are constantly lecturing and seeking attention are not self – confident at all. They are full of insecurity and doubt and in need of constant boosting. So insatiable is this need, they are not easy to live with or work with. Needless to say, we all have a need to feel appreciated or, at the very least, to be taken seriously. It is like spiritual fuel and energy. But taking oneself too seriously is like a poison.

While we need people to appreciate us, we also need people to tell us when to lighten up!