Thought on Sunday

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters CP, Sunday 8th November 2015

This is a poem written to young girl in 1870 by Gerard Manly Hopkins. It was in our school book and it spoke to me even then, probably because, like Margaret, I hated to see the leaves falling:
Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah, as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
Yet you will weep and know why.
Now no matter, child, the name:
Sorrow’s springs are all the same.
Nor mouth had, no nor mind expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.
The poet is saying you seem to be mourning the falling leaves but really it is Margaret you mourn for! How can he say that to a little girl? Because there’s truth in it! And maybe he’s really saying it to himself? I was present when a father had to tell his children that their mother had died in a drowning tragedy and I will always remember little Claire (aged 6) asking this question: “Who’s going to take us to school in the morning now?” This is a child speaking, a child fearful and lost, and a child is more open and honest than the rest of us. A lot of our grieving can also be concern for ourselves. How am I going to cope? Has this old life any real meaning? Sorrow’s springs are all the same! Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for you. Everything is passing and every death and every loss and every separation reminds us of that – even leaves falling from a tree!

Death is horrible and nothing prepares us for the ferocity of grief at the death of a father or mother, husband or wife or any loved one and most especially the death of a child. But, if only we could channel the energy in this ferocious grief and depression into something positive. Of course there’s no avoiding the stages on the way to something better and if your bereavement was recent, you’re probably not yet ready for talk like this at all. Grief is a real sickness and it takes time to heal. But we need to work at transforming it into even greater love and caring for those still with us. In a similar way, sorrow and guilt for our sins can become a real sickness, overwhelming us so that we’re no good to God or man. That’s why St. Thomas Aquinas said “Sorrow even for the greatest sins should be transitory” meaning it should be going somewhere. It should be moving us on. Moving on from preoccupation with ourselves, our sins and our sorrows into people who have time, concern and energy for others!

So a very good way to remember our dead is by being fully alive ourselves, living well and loving well the people still with us.