Tired confessing the same things?

From the desk of Fr. Ignatius Waters CP

thought-for-sundaySunday 16th October 2016

 

 

 You say: “I hate having to confess the same old things over and over again. It gets me down and I’m afraid the priest will think I’m not really sorry if I keep doing the same things. I mean if I was really sorry I’d just stop, wouldn’t I? At times I feel I’m just weak and hopeless. And confession, instead of helping, increases that feeling. I know it’s not the right attitude but I’m having a hard time thinking of it in any other way. Can you learn to like confession?

 I say: No, we’ll probably never learn to like it! It’s never easy to lay bare our sins and admit our pride, lust, anger, envy and all the rest. But in doing so, we are admitting we’re a member of the human race and those tendencies are in all of us. We’re admitting our human weakness and total dependence on God. I know we don’t like being weak or dependent on anyone, even God. But confession can also be a really helpful and encouraging experience. One man leaving our little reconciliation room was so happy he said, “Now I can fly! Better than Red Bull any day!” It’s an opportunity to talk about where we are in our lives and our spiritual aches and yearnings. Early on we might have foolishly thought we would get our lives together and be ‘nearly perfect’ in a few years but before long we begin to realise we’ll be battling all our days. One poor man said, “We’ll be battling till we’re a quarter of an hour dead!” In coming to confession we’re saying to Jesus. “Without you, Jesus, I can’t even begin to live up to the high ideals of Christianity.”

You say going to confession reminds you too much of your weakness and failures. But it also can be a humble prayer of gratitude “Lord, I thank you for your readiness to forgive me time and time again. Help me believe that you never tire of forgiving me and welcoming me back when I stray. With your grace these evil tendencies will never take complete control over me.” And why worry what the priest thinks? He’s more likely to be admiring your goodness and honesty and faith than thinking you’re weak or sinful. I know I come out of the Confessional marveling at the goodness of people especially when I have even a small glimpse of all they’ve to deal with and cope with in their lives.

I know it’s disappointing to think, “Here I am again. I don’t seem to be making any progress!” But sometimes we’re just annoyed with ourselves and it has little to do with God! God may not be fed up with me but I’m fed up with myself! I’m not the self-controlled and loving person I once thought I was! The ideals are getting me down instead of encouraging me to keep working towards them. Maybe all my efforts have been just been a cult of self-perfection or wanting to be a spiritual success. Others may want to be a great success in sport or learning or business. Was I on the success road too? It’s not about success; it’s about being faithful; it’s about humbly asking for mercy time and time again; it’s about knowing you can’t be a Christian without Christ.  

“Those who live in the spirit of the gospel are not anxiously looking to see the results. They are not counting on success. They are not concerned by how much progress has been made. They live by faith, giving themselves over completely to God’s mercy. (St. Therese)