A Thought On Sunday

"TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY"

From the desk of, Fr. Ignatius Waters c.p.

Sunday, February 4, 2012

They looked like a gentle old couple as they padded along the promenade in Bray enjoying the sea air. You'd be inclined to say "Isn't it lovely to see them still together after all the years?" But as they passed he was growling at her, "Why the hell do you always have to be right?"

Another day on Dun Laoghaire pier, I met another old couple shuffling along in perfect harmony or so it seemed. But as they passed she was snapping at him, "Of course, you always have to have the last word, don't you?"

I'm sure both old couples are the best of friends and when one dies the other will be heart broken – no one to fight with any more! I was giving a mission in St. Eugene's Cathedral in Derry sometime during the troubles, and after our night session, the local priests encouraged the people to go home quietly and to ignore the soldiers. I was at the back of the Cathedral as people were leaving and heard one woman say to another, "Don't even bother to ignore them!" As if to ignore them was giving them far too much attention! So, in a way, it's a good sign when we fight with people or feel free to disagree with them. It means we take them seriously.

And after we are fed, clothed and sheltered, to be taken seriously is probably our most basic human need. You'd wonder why naggers keep on nagging when it seems such an ineffective strategy. But it's probably a desperate cry from the heart to be heard and to be taken seriously. People looking for jobs are so often frustrated for the same reason. One man put it very well when he said, "What really takes the cake is applying for jobs and getting no reply, as though I don't exist!" As though I don't exist! That describes the feeling! And I always find it hard to read aloud in church that Jesus fed five thousand men, "not counting women and children"! The 'not counting' has been going on for a very long time! Women and children had to scream to be heard. And many women feel it's still not happening in the church. They are still invisible; they still don't count; it's still as if they don't exist.

When we are not taken seriously, there's a great danger we will be driven to taking ourselves too seriously. If other people don't take me seriously, I'll have to do the job for myself! From there it's a very small step to self importance and constant bragging and a kind of navel gazing that drives away the very people you hoped might believe in you and take you seriously. It took me a long time to see that the people who seem 'full of themselves' and are constantly talking and seeking attention are in reality the very opposite. They are full of insecurity and doubt and in need of constant boosting. So insatiable is this need they are not easy to live with or work with. Needless to say,

all of us need to be appreciated or, at the very least, to be taken seriously. It is like spiritual fuel and energy. But taking oneself too seriously is like a poison!

While we need people to appreciate us,

we also need people to tell us when to lighten up!